Thursday 14 June 2012

The story behind the name.


Over the past week, a couple of people have asked why I chose to give my blog the name that it’s got. So I thought I had better explain….

Anyone who knows me well will know that I have a rather colourful dating history. For many years, I have tended to be attracted to men who are bad for me – in fact with one recent notable exception, they have been varying degrees of vile. Of course, I have been oblivious to this until long after it is over. I had the dubious pleasure of bumping into one of them in a pub back last summer, and I told him during the course of our conversation of my intentions to sign up for the Bath half marathon. Spluttering into his beer he told me that I would never manage to run even a mile as I am far too fat and lazy. To be fair, I was perhaps rather foolish of me to expect him to be in any way supportive as his pet name for me was, and in fact still is "Lard".

Another equally charming ex, on terminating our relationship told me that he had made an exception for me, because normally he only dated thin, pretty girls. That statement has stuck with me ever since.  It would be understandable if he had the benefit of supermodel looks himself, but sadly he does not.

I am well aware that I am not exactly skinny. I haven’t been since I started working in McDonalds and discovered beer when I was 16. But I have come to realise that even if I had been a size 6, those men would still have made those comments – I wasn’t about me, or how I looked, it was about them and their odious personalities.  And as they both march quickly towards middle age, and all the disadvantages that go with it, I am becoming a better person than they ever deserved.  I will probably not ever be skinny again, but I will be happy and that is sometimes the best revenge anyone can get.

Fat or thin, I will complete the Bath half marathon, and I will do it with a smile on my face. And I will do it just for me, because I can. I have named this blog in celebration of who I am, and when I do complete the race it will because the things that they said about me made me stronger.
  
So there you go, my sad little story.  I could actually write a book on the men I have known and their strange habits. Maybe that will be my next project.

On a more cheerful note, I ran 5 miles this week without stopping. It was a bit slow at times, as it was on the road out of Abergavenny where I am currently on placement with university, and much of it was uphill, but it felt fantastic to complete that distance. If I can repeat the same next week, I think I might try to find a 10k to enter, and again I will finish it with a smile on my face.



Saturday 9 June 2012

Back to parkrun

After several weeks of putting it off, the time had come for me to face up to my fears and go back to parkrun - scene of the big fall nearly 6 months ago now. I had considered going to the Cardiff one instead, but I like the route at Newport, and somehow it would have felt disloyal to Lliswerry Runners who organise it to go elsewhere. 

So the alarm was set for 7am in order that I could fuel myself with porridge ready for the big event - it doesn't taste any better when its two months past its best before date, but as a humble student I wasn't going to let it go to waste.  A tablespoon of sugar eased the discomfort a bit, but I still think its disgusting.

It was a lovely clear morning today, but not too hot, so perfect conditions for a little run.  However, going back for the first time was never going to be about whether I could physically run 5km. I know that I am capable of dragging my flabby self around that distance without stopping. The problem was the fears in my head, especially when I thought about the part of the course where I fell, and due to the double lap of the route, I had to run that bit twice. 

I was actually quite calm about it all until I pulled into the car park, where I had to fight the urge to drive home again and get back into my warm bed. I think I had probably chosen a good week, as most of the club members that I knew were off an another event, so I was left alone with my thoughts, rather than having to make conversation before the start. I decided that I would just concentrate on getting round, and not worry about the time it was taking me. Summer appears to have brought out a whole lot of new runners; usually I am near the back and after the first 500 metres I am mostly on my own. Today I found myself running with people the whole way, and even managed to overtake three people. It is great to see that parkrun is bringing running to the less athletic in society though - although its good that there is a competitive edge amongst the front runners, most of us will never achieve a sub 20 minute PB, and I personally think that there is much more for the organisers to be proud of when someone new to exercise finishes in 50 minutes, than when the course record is broken. 

In the end, it was ok. I was terrified the whole time, and it was probably one of the toughest mental challenges that I have ever faced, but I made it in one piece and even managed a little victorious sprint towards the finish line. I was very pleasantly surprised on receiving my confirmation email to learn that I had smashed my PB for the course by 66 seconds, finishing in 33.55 - faster than I ever thought possible when I started, and creeping closer to the sub 30 minutes that I'm ultimately aiming for. 

So all in all not a bad day. Thank you for reading.